Saturday 14 February 2009

True stories from Emergency Rooms in the USA

Not for the squeamish...these are all true stories from Emergency Rooms in the USA:

FEMALE SOFA
A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
eeewwwww.....

PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH!
In Michigan a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had '...a
rat in her privates...' which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn, I don't think). After an
examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE? -----
A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!. The concrete then hardened, (no sh*t Sherlock)! causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball. (Boy we live sheltered lives!)

BLIND DRUNK-----
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH! -----
A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.

And you thought YOU were having a bad day!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

jesus christ thats sick LOL

funny as hell tho xD

/ltumax

islamicastrology said...

Right away I am going away to do my breakfast, afterward having my breakfast coming over again to read additional news.
Muslim vashikaran specialist
Dua to remove black magic
Islamic black magic specialist

onlineastrologysolution said...

This blog was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I’ve found something which helped me. Cheers!

famousmuslimastrologer said...

When someone writes an post he/she retains the thought of a user in his/her brain that how a user can be aware of it. Therefore that’s why this article is perfect. Thanks!
Islamic astrologer
Islamic Vashikaran Mantra
Islamic Love Vashikaran
Islamic Black Magic

solvemyloveproblem said...

Hello it’s me, I am also visiting this web page daily, this site is genuinely good and the people are really sharing good thoughts.

expertastrologysolution said...

I visit everyday a few sites and information sites to rread content, but this weblog provides quality bqsed writing.
Get Back Girlfriend Boyfriend
Love Astrology
Love Guru Advice
Advice For Marriage Problems