Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Showing posts with label laws. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laws. Show all posts
Saturday, 3 January 2009
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
Bizarre laws from the UK and the rest of the world
BBC News reports on a poll which lists the most ludicrous laws in the UK and the rest of the world, as voted by UKTV Gold viewers:
Top ten bizarre UK Laws:
1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down.
3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.
4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned.
5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter.
6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet.
7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen.
8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing.
9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour.
10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
Top ten bizarre non-UK Laws:
1. In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk.
2. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.
3. A male doctor in Bahrain can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror.
4. In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm.
5. It is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle in Alabama.
6. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed.
7. Women in Vermont must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
8. In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except during funerals or hospital visits.
9. There is no age of consent in Japan.
10. In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon.
Top ten bizarre UK Laws:
1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down.
3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.
4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned.
5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter.
6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet.
7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen.
8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing.
9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour.
10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
Top ten bizarre non-UK Laws:
1. In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk.
2. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.
3. A male doctor in Bahrain can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror.
4. In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm.
5. It is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle in Alabama.
6. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed.
7. Women in Vermont must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
8. In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except during funerals or hospital visits.
9. There is no age of consent in Japan.
10. In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon.
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